Winter

It's been a while.
It's already winter again and in 2 months it will become warmer. Strange thought when I remember how long the last winter seemed. Time is flowing so fast ...
The last weeks there had been a lot of snow here in Germany, but the last two days everything melted. When I went to school this morning the whole word was covered by a white veil. Wavering darkness and wavering light around the streetlamps. And when I walked home just a few minutes ago, the fog was still there and it seemed as if the world ended just beyond the next house. I was truly amazed. But the most beautiful thing I saw today was when I took a short walk when we had 2 free lessons.
I was walking with one from my German class and when we came to a special tree we saw that there were frozen spiderwebs like tiny chains of silver! I never saw frozen webs, did you? So delicate.
Ah, nature, good old friend.
What else do I have to tell?
I was in Weimar and Dresden over holidays and it was very beauftiful, too.

Recently I often thought about love ... but ... hm, how shall i describe it? I think I do not want to fall in love again.
There's a story I write with a very dear and beloved friend and I can empathize so much with our characters. It's a great feeling. And I can empathize with my own charcters (in my stories) again. That wasn't possible while I was in love. Strange thing, isn't it?
As if I had to decide between writing and loving. So, for others that might be an easy decision, but look: writing (and drawing) is and was always my way of expressing myself, my anger, my sadness and any other kind of feelings. My way of controling emotions. Not being able to do that as I used to all these years is a horrific feeling.
Furthermore, it is all i ever wanted. To write and draw. So right now my decision is writing.
It is not like I couldn't love at the same time - at least I can love friends, it connects me even more with my friends. But being in love is so different!
(Oh, and right now there is no-one I could really fall in love with. I do love in a platonic way, but not in that butterfly-heartbeat-out-of-control feeling, you know?)
Art shall be a constant in my life - as it always was.

The last few days I was absolutly "in love" with Placebo. I hope I could see them live once!
I might go to the WGT this year - I'm very excited!

to all Visual Kei Fans: Is Visual Kei Prostitution?
This is an interview from an ex visual kei record executive
http://www.hellodamage.com/top/2010/03/01/interview-with-an-ex-visual-kei-record-executive/
Very shocking yet important article for all that are so much into that indie bands.
Please read.